Throughout those 10 years I have let countless other boys into my heart only to be disappointed over and over again and left to utter that same damn phrase yet again swearing off the entire gender until the next one comes around. After all this hatred and these bad experiences, why not throw in the towel completely?
Thankfully, the aforementioned decade has given me plenty of time to learn from all of these heartbreaks and disappointments, and I've learned the most valuable lesson of them all. That lesson is that there is a huge difference between boys and men. I still hate boys, so now I am ready to move on to a man. Unfortunately, you can't tell the difference offhand in the mids to mids age range. But trust me on this one, there are plenty of "boys" who are plus and even plus.
A man is confident, a boy is insecure. Sure, there are PLENTY of cocky dudes running around acting like they have all the confidence in the world, but there is a real difference between the guy who gets his validation from his latest selfie and the guy who is confident because he knows who he is and what he wants. A confident man never needs to play the game with a woman to gain the upper hand, he knows what he brings to the table and that speaks for itself.
A man tells you how he feels, what he thinks, and what he sees for your future together. A boy keeps you guessing, dances around any conversations about the longevity of your relationship, and shuts down when you talk about feelings or emotions. A man is OK having serious conversations, because he knows who he is, which is beyond sexy. A man knows when he is wrong and apologizes rather than the guys who break your heart and act like it's no skin off their back.
A man knows that no one is perfect, including himself, and knows that he won't lose any of his "manhood" by admitting he was wrong. As fun as game playing with boys can be, you know all along that for the long haul, you will be with a MAN.
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You can date a boy with all the swag in the world, but in the back of your head you know that this "swag" will not endure forever. Boys want to get you drunk; men take you out for coffee and get to know who you really are. The short-term novelty of getting blackout with a boy wears off quickly, and you become ready for nice dinner reservations and intelligent conversation before you even realize.
A man is always respectful to his lady. A boy is concerned with how you look to his friends. A boy is ready to do anything to get want he wants. A man is ready to love without hesitation.
Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again. Good call on the feminist line. One thing to add though, men deserve a break from their stereotypes as well. He got mad when I did too.
You Were Lucky I […]. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. A man tells you he loves you and backs it up with his actions. A boy is possessive. A man is protective. More From Thought Catalog. Always wanting to hold hands, always saying I love you.
Lots of little love notes and stuff. At least with me, anyway. They're very clear about what they want and what they don't want. Girls haven't been that way every time. Also the gossip has been the same, if not moreso with guys.
The Difference Between Dating A Boy And Dating A Man | Thought Catalog
My last boyfriend loved to gossip and chat about clothes, hair, makeup, food, drink, etc. Then again, most guys I date are also kindof effeminate or "gender fluid" or whatever types. Not my current boyfriend, but most of my exes. This woman says that her being bi is "a plus" for straight men. Let's be honest, it probably comes down to them finding it hot.
Or they could just genuinely think it's cool. Gay women, on the other hand, aren't into her being bi in her experience. It's a shame but not all lesbians feel this way; some do stigmatize bisexuality. With straight dudes, being bi is a more or less a plus though that also comes with it's own problems , with lesbians being bi is a pretty big minus.
I haven't dated another bi person, though, hopefully they'd be more chill with it than the rest! The differences I see don't seem surprising to me. Like the men being more competitive than women. I guess it is really just a stereotype that women are the needy ones, but men can be too! I've dated a ridiculous number of overly needy men.
And I am talking about the "Tell me that you love me all the time" "text me all the time" "tell me I am attractive all the time" type of neediness. Therapy helped me learn that neediness is usually a deeper issue that the person needs to address, whether it is insecurity, poor self-esteem, or some past trauma or abuse. Therefore either men or women can be that way, it's just women get the stereotype of being the needy ones.
She also said because I come from a toxic home and use to being in a codependent relationship, I am going to find myself dating needy people a lot because it is a type of person I am use to pleasing. I found myself getting pissed off at men for the same reasons my girlfriends had gotten angry at me - "You don't tell me what's wrong, you don't keep in touch, I have no idea what you think of me.
The type of arguing was surprisingly similar, though. I didn't really experience the "men are mean but women are cruel" a lot of people seem to. I've male found myself fighting way dirtier than I ever thought I would, and I've gotten honest verbal beatings from girls and months-long venom from guys. Cruelty is in the person, not the gender.
On the plus side! In my experience the men have been more openly romantic. Both genders can be very forward, though. Girls definitely seemed to enjoy getting things more, but it's possible I just haven't gotten guys as many gifts because I get nervous about what's desired or appropriate.
Both genders thoroughly enjoy open emotional honesty - wish I'd learned how to do that way sooner, because it is greatly desired and rewarded XD". This woman found that talking about the future of the relationship is easier to do with women than men. Also, she found that she didn't want to talk about the future with guys for fear of scaring them off.
My girlfriend and I aren't scared to talk about the future, it wasn't even an issue early on. Whereas when I've been with men in the past I daren't talk about anything even a couple weeks in the future when things are just starting out, for fear of scaring them off. Then again, that might not be a difference between genders, more that my girlfriend is the one unlike other people I've been with. Oh and also, sex and stuff. This man reckons there are a lot of similarities in dating men and women. Yet the biggest difference is how readily they are willing to accept his mega farts.
He reckons guys just accept farting in general, while women will only accept the little ones.
9 Differences Between Dating A Boy And Dating A Real Man
What do you think? Do you find farts gross or just natural? Have a look, this one's funny:. Shark week gets replaced by Mexican night do I look fat with: But besides that I'd have to go with farting. Not that cutesy farting that girls will sometimes accept. Guys just seem to be more amenable to that. This woman thinks women are better at some things and men are better at some things when it comes to relationships:.
Women were more likely to be spontaneous and want to do things like travel to the next town to eat at a fancy restaurant. Women were more likely to be biased against my sexual orientation "I don't date Bi girls. The men I've dated have seemed to be much more laid back and cool with just sitting around and playing video games. We didn't have to constantly be doing something. The women have been more sympathetic to my everyday little problems, however the men have seemed more supportive of big life decisions.
This person believes men like to talk as much as women, despite what is commonly thought.
The difference lies in what they want to talk about:. Even though the stereotype is that women are the big talkers, I've found that both genders love to talk when they feel they are really being listened to. The main difference I've found is that men love to talk about themselves and women love to talk about other people.
This is actually the biggest difference I've consistently observed. In this woman's experience, women are more clingy in relationships while men are more jealous and more competitive by the sound of it:.