First, the bad news: Men die younger than women. As the decades pass, women increasingly outnumber men, which subtly works in your favor. For every 1, births, by age 50, women outnumber men to , according to a U. At 65, it's to So the odds are in men's favor — and women know it. That's one reason why Betty and Veronica no longer sit by the phone waiting for Archie to call. If a woman is interested in you , she'll probably initiate contact.
Women will, so you better know what they'll find. Try to correct misinformation, or at least be prepared to prove that you're not the escaped serial killer who shares your name. And while you're at it, make sure your Facebook page won't raise eyebrows. Dating sites have advantages. One is that you cast a wide net. Photos increase men's response rate 40 percent — for women, photos triple it! Another is that profiles provide good icebreakers. Beyond saying, "You're really cute and you live near me," you can add that like the woman you're contacting, you also play tennis and enjoy jazz.
Dating sites have disadvantages. Some of the members are flakier than piecrust. They seem interested, but after a few e-mails, they disappear. Or their phones are disconnected. Or they stand you up. One theory is that many are not single. They're coupled but bored, and hope to reassure themselves that they're still attractive by hooking men like you.
What's more, profiles often lie. One study found that on average, people claimed to be an inch taller than the national average. Women said they weighed 20 pounds less than average. Most claimed to be "more attractive than average" — 72 percent of women, 68 percent of men. As soon as you meet, she'll see your height and weight and how attractive you are. You may be wonderful, but if you look like a total schlump, women will flee. Trouble is, many men hate shopping for clothes.
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If that's you, get help. Ask a friend, preferably a woman, to accompany you. Consider getting a manicure and pedicure. Plan to spend a day — yes, guys, one entire day — and one to two weeks' income on your makeover. One pleasant surprise about dating after 50 is less groveling for sex.
After a few dates, most older women feel fine about going horizontal, and don't care if your erections are iffy or gone. However, they don't want sexually transmitted infections STIs. Keep this in balance, though! Was I a good cook?
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Did I have any hobbies? Could I forgive my husband for having an affair?
Did I like cleaning? I wouldn't get the job and there was no second date.
Keep it light and a little more idly curious. It is fairly normal to discuss your marriage breakdown on the first date. Both people are generally pretty shocked to find themselves in this situation and, after talking about the weather and the challenges of getting down the A or whatever, it is probably the first significant thing you have in common.
Asking for a second date is tricky. Most men I dated asked me at the end of the first one for a second.
9 tips for dating as an over
This made it really hard to say no. Muddy Farmer told me he had very much enjoyed our date when we parted, then called me up that evening to see how I thought our date went and to ask me if I'd like to meet up again. I thought this was a classy merger of sensitivity and confidence.
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The first date is so tricky, that unless you really didn't like the other party, it's worth another go you can really concentrate enough to decide if the person could be for you or not. Not wanting another date is also awkward , whenever you make your mind up on this topic. My strategy was to be honest but kind. I generally said the bloke is lovely, but just not for me and refused to be drawn into any details beyond that. Most people end up in bed after three or four dates , assuming everything has gone pretty well up until that point. What you do is a very personal matter, but it's always good to know what is normal.
Men aren't too worried about the pubic topiary, but most prefer a little less than the full Gwyneth.
9 tips for dating as an over-50
Go with what makes you feel sexy. Know that the man will be so terrified that he won't perform that he won't even notice your cellulite, big bum or whatever else it is you are worried about. Neither of you will be body proud once you get past Unless you're Madonna, and let's face it, most of us aren't.
As a relationship develops, you will be on an emotional rollercoaster , with teenage-type angst. Decoding texts and emails, lacking confidence.