It teaches us the necessity of break-up which we all know is hard. There's a good chance they won't understand at first or will think you're making up excuse for bringing a relationship to an end. Don't try to argue with them to prove a point. Overall, it's a good read and if you're open-minded on other's religions, this is still a highly recommended book for everyone.
Jun 10, Christopher rated it did not like it Shelves: I was forced to read this book by the female youth leader in a youth group I was a part of, along with all the other guys. Some of us kissed dating goodbye, others of us kissed youth group goodbye. Apr 13, Jenny Reading Envy added it Shelves: This philosophy destroys intimacy and feeds the guilt culture that is overly a part of modern Christian families.
View all 5 comments. Oct 28, Kacey rated it did not like it Shelves: Coming from a happily married woman, I found this to be a stupid composition that follows a typical Christian formula of twisting Scripture to suit the point the author wants to make. Common sense, rather than blowing up your every state of being into assuring yourself of your godliness, will get you further in my opinion.
Only made a splash because it was written by a young, attractive male who claimed to have quit dating for good. Don't listen to me, though, read it fo Coming from a happily married woman, I found this to be a stupid composition that follows a typical Christian formula of twisting Scripture to suit the point the author wants to make. Don't listen to me, though, read it for yourself and make up your own mind- unlike the author would have you do.
Nov 29, emilie. I know no one's going to read my review, but I've just been itching to write it. I have a feeling it will turn into a long rambling session since I feel pretty strongly about this subject. I know I'm just another young adult who wasn't fond of this book, so my critique is probably insignificant among the sea of others out there. I know that I'm just "young and foolish" and how could I ever question this book's teachings-everyone should do it! Everyone who has ever followed what Joshua Harris say I know no one's going to read my review, but I've just been itching to write it.
Everyone who has ever followed what Joshua Harris says has wonderful results and a lifelong, heavenly marriage, right? As someone who had to read this in my junior year of high school I was homeschooled , I don't necessarily believe that. Sure, there are some couples who did the whole courtship thing and ended up marrying the love of their life.
As long as they're truly happy, who am I to tell them what they should have done? I just don't believe courtship works for everyone. This is what I think: They're not impure if they hold hands. They don't suddenly lose their innocence if they have crushes. They're not damaged goods for kissing their boyfriend or girlfriend. They're not immoral if they do have a boyfriend or girlfriend in the first place.
Nearly everyone who is a strong advocate for courtship is all like, "But you'll regret your stupid choices one day. Never experiencing that part of being a teenager. I will never know what it's like. Maybe deep down, I'm still one of those girls who is desperate or maybe I'm just being sentimental. But honestly, don't take those years for granted. I'm not saying that teenagers should be reckless and do everything on a whim. Logic and common sense should obviously be valued. I simply believe that keeping your heart under lock and key at all times is a terrible-possibly damaging-idea.
Lewis said "to love at all is to be vulnerable. If you do break up with your significant other and feel sad for awhile, that's just part of life! It won't be unbearable and you will get through it. Life is all about discovery, full of warmth and rawness and giving and taking and pouring yourself out! It is impossible to avoid pain in life, and shielding yourself from "getting hurt" by romantic relationships is only going to increase your fear of the world. I'm going to try to word this in a way that makes sense, but which sounds better to you Because I have heard stories about the latter.
A lot of stories. All because of this book. It can definitely happen, and courtship champions should stop acting as though it is impossible. Their method isn't perfect either. Nothing in life is perfect. Anyway, I'm sure I have bored you quite enough. On with the book. I've only read it once and that was a few years ago, and would rather not read it again. From what I remember, his writing style was extremely repetitive and he repeated the same ideas over…and over…and over again. I literally had to take a break after reading a few pages at a time.
I find that passage ridiculous. Was he implying that our hearts are only capable of so much love before they crash and burn? You love your family, you love your friends, and you love your pets. You love certain musicians, artists and writers. I'm sure that loving more people, whether they'll become part of your past or stay with you for a long time, is NOT going to make you unworthy or undesirable.
A loving heart is a truly beautiful thing. If you actually believe that, it will show, trust me. I know that not everyone who is for courtship thinks like that, but quite a few of them do. If you have that mindset, how will any guy or girl be able to approach you and want to start a relationship with you in the first place? That's just the short version of all my thoughts. If I go on too much longer, my fingers won't be able to type for a while. Like I mentioned near the beginning, if couples who courted are truly happy that they did it…kudos to them. Josh Harris had good intentions, but I suspect this book has done more damage than good.
I'm tired of Christians who practice courtship treating this book like it's the pinnacle of nonfiction, and homeschooling parents since these beliefs are the norm in many homeschool circles must stop micromanaging their adult children's lives. It's just wrong on so many levels. On his website, he is now accepting stories from IKDG readers on how it affected their lives.
Old news, I know, but it's a step and I can't help but feel proud of him for sincerely trying to understand. View all 6 comments. I read this book when I was a broken-hearted nineteen-year-old. At the time the idea of kissing dating goodbye and doing it in the name of God seemed like a grand idea.
I think it was largely because I had no dates to kiss goodbye, so it gave me some noble reason to beyond the fact that girls didn't like me and the fact that despite my liking them I was terrified of them.asia.userengage.io/19687.php
Joshua Harris Rethinks Telling People to Kiss Dating Goodbye
I think Harris has some very valid points as best as I can remember, but they are a bit extreme and maybe even unrealistic. A I read this book when I was a broken-hearted nineteen-year-old. Anytime you set up a system of thought like that it can lead to feelings of guilt and legalism. I am prone to that sort of thing anyway, and I definitely dealt with it after trying my hardest to adopt the ideas in this book. If would feel guilty if I just liked a girl. In some way, I'm thankful that I went through this time in my life because I do think it has balanced out and saved me from just randomly chasing after girls for the fun of it.
On the other hand, I don't know that I would have ever done that anyway. I think this book is good for high school kids, but it's probably not very practical once you get older. I saw Joshua Harris speak a few years ago, and I knew it would be really chessy and youth groupy. But you know what? He was a very good speaker, and everything he said was solid and scripturally sound. Oh, and he didn't talk about dating.
In this book Joshua Harris tells you to, as the title suggests, to kiss dating goodbye, suggesting that here is a better way to approach romance than simple "dating" could ever provide. He urges you to ask yourself "what is your motivation in relationships, pleasing yourself or serving others? This book does not say th In this book Joshua Harris tells you to, as the title suggests, to kiss dating goodbye, suggesting that here is a better way to approach romance than simple "dating" could ever provide. This book does not say that dating is sinful and explains that rejecting typical dating does not mean that you'll never spend time alone with a guy or girl.
Under his suggestions for the many different reasons to read this book he suggests it if you: You just got out of a bad relationship, and you don't want to be hurt again. Not dating sounds like a great idea. You just haven't felt comfortable with dating, and you're looking for alternatives. You're ina great dating relationship, and you're curious why anyone would choose not to date. This book is full of wonderful suggestions such as dating your wife or husband once you are married and many others.
Feb 15, Altovise rated it it was amazing Shelves: I first heard of Josh Harris on a Christian radio station. I was driving and listening to him talk about the pitfalls of modern dating. I was so captivated by his message, that I sat in the car listening long after I arrived at my destination.
I went and purchased this book the next day. After the first chapter, I put it down. It was a lot to take in for an ex-feminist, control freak like me. I talked to my dad about it and decided to give the book a chance. My love life has never been the same. I I first heard of Josh Harris on a Christian radio station. It taught me that if I had continued to give away my heart to lots of boyfriends, I may have nothing left to give my husband. I'm not saying that this concept is easy to accept. I had to stuggle to read this book without rolling my eyes.
Joshua backs all of his writing up with Biblical text. He tells it like it is. This book is wonderful. Jun 16, Robyn rated it did not like it. And secondly, I still don't see even one small remote difference in "dating" versus "courtship". It might as well be about "don't be a stripper, instead be an exotic dancer! Mar 04, Shantelle rated it really liked it Shelves: Has some good advice, for sure.
I enjoyed it a second time around. Quotes from the Book By inflating the importance of feelings, we neglect the importance of putting love into action. Christ taught that love is not for the fulfillment of self but for the good of others and the glory of God. True love is selfless. It gives; it sacrifices; it dies to its own needs. Christ also showed that true love is not measured or governed by feeling. Jesus' feelings were not the test of His love, nor were they His master. True purity, however, is a direction, a persistent, determined pursuit of righteousness.
This direction starts in the heart, and we express it in a lifestyle that flees opportunities for compromise. Your future spouse is created in the image of God. Your marriage will be a sacred relationship. May 05, Katie rated it really liked it. The title of this book is different, which is why I picked it up in the first place. Not only is there not a fixed number of permissible wives for a king before he is considered to be multiplying them, but it seems the number can be increased to meet personal need. We better look at it in modern terms. This might be considered a modern example of a king multiplying horses and women.
Considerations of his reputation play a major role in modifying his behavior. Although the king's "heavy foot" and "endless appetite" were causing him problems, God did not in Deuteronomy address heavy spurs and an endless appetite for women, but instead numerical multiplying, even though the number was not fixed, but was even subject to modification by both public opinion and individual need.
In some ways that doesn't make sense, but in the same ways, as Josh brings out in his book, it doesn't make sense to treat morals in terms of lines. I'm not sure we're supposed to try to improve on the Bible, and in fact Josh has a goal to be biblical; he just doesn't always achieve it. A good point to consider is that such morals have been thought of in terms of lines throughout our history as illustrated above. It might be a good idea not to summarily change that. Josh on Page 93 goes into one's rights, and such responses need to be evaluated before one is married for life and finds a partner unwilling to fulfil his or her duty.
The right to touch is seen in touch dancing with a new partner, whether she will readily accept a dance. The right to a good-bye kiss at the end of a date allows one to evaluate his partner in the area of being able to respond to physical obligations long before any marriage contracted. I have a scriptural basis for complaining about the rejection of the traditional wisdom in scripture. Lo, certainly in vain made he it; the pen of the scribes is in vain. The wise men are ashamed, they are dismayed and taken: These new versions have just lost their way.
Traditionally marriage is honorable in all, even the courtship stages with their attendant scaled down intimacies. It is whoremongering and adultery that God judges. Let's look at examples of these last. The abominable temptations and enticements which were part of everyday life in Babylon remained indelibly fixed in the minds of the exiled Jews.
Through the centuries until the time of Christ the brilliant metropolis was for them "Babylon the Great, the mother of harlots and abominations of the earth. Yes, God judges the whoremongering and adulteries of places like that, but if he judges America, it won't be because the young people went out on dates or even that they kissed their dates.
That is an honorable part of preparing for marriage and of selecting a mate. The marriage bed is honorable, and so is kissing one's date. I do agree with Josh's suggestion on page 96 , that, "Maybe you think I'm taking this idea too far. Maybe you're saying, 'You've got to be joking. One little kiss won't have me hurtling toward sin. Part 3 starts some practical advice. I like the one about the nail puller on page Seems it should be used when crooked construction is first found, before the rest of the building gets thrown off kilter as well.
Seems to me we should go back and fix our understanding of dating in the Bible before finishing Josh's mixed up book.
On page f he goes into establishing boundaries which I agree with. For example, I have committed to avoiding situations that could lead to temptation. For me, being alone with a girl in an empty house is one such situation. So I've created a boundary about the issue: I will not go to a girl's home if no one else is there. When I was on the Christian mercy ship, we had a rule that when the opposite sex visited our cabins, the door had to remain open. I now live in a little cottage with a picture window across one whole side which faces a public access shortcut through the property.
A girl comes over, the drapes stay open. I can still invite dates over, though. Friendship leads to romance. Chapter nine involves building friendships. To skip ahead to his formula on page , "These stages are casual friendship—deeper friendship—purposeful intimacy with integrity—engagement. My stages per E sther would be: Compare the two rough charts above. I base my approach also on Prov. We end up with a pyramiding effect, and if one seeks romance only with close friends, why, he will have a really small pool to choose from.
But per the proverb, non-platonic friendships are possible. If one dates from the large pool of acquaintances, then his or her girlfriends or boyfriends will develop from those dates in their own category without disturbing his regular friendships. On pages f he wants us to "be inclusive, not exclusive," concentrating on "fellowship, service, prayer, or Bible study—then seek to involve others.
They pretty much disparaged dating, thinking we should get to know the opposite sex through church type activities. To maintain my sanity, I took up as a theme song, written by E. They go on dates. Let's look at an example of someone "always alone, even with someone he loves. Martin's Press, p. Clevenger was finding out how alone you could feel in the room next to your child, even when you loved that child as much as he loved Billy. And he couldn't make the loneliness go away in the easy ways he once had. Clevenger had had love affairs during the past two years, including an on-again, off-again relationship with Whitney McCormick, the FBI 's chief forensic psychiatrist, who had worked the Jonah Wrens case with him.
But he couldn't abandon himself to romance, even with her, even though she still appeared in his dreams. He couldn't pour himself into a woman and dissolve his anxieties in the haze of passion. Giving your son the very decided impression he was your main focus in life meant going to sleep and waking up by yourself. It meant managing love affairs like part-time jobs. Let's look at biblical friendship which with Billy his was not.
Let's contrast that with the most notable friendship in the Bible, that of David and Jonathan. The remaining facet of such boyfriend-girlfriend relations, "closer than a brother," is the physicality which Josh so discourages, to "dissolve his anxieties in the haze of passion," which passion should be tailored, of course. Clevenger's complaint was that he was "managing love affairs like part-time jobs. Courting a girl entirely by friendship and church activities, without going on dates, without any physicality, and then going into marriage with her would be like applying for an important job when all one's experience in the field is but part-time.
I mean, an important element in the preparation just wouldn't be there. On page we are asked to think about "what can you learn about someone by sitting next to him or her in a movie theater? Secondly, we should not devalue movies. I refer to John W. Whitehead, Grasping for the Wind Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House, p. After the movie one may discuss with his date, either then and there or at some future time, what they saw.
See S weet November and afterwards discuss how each of the Ten Commandments was represented in the movie. Watch a b it of Catch and Release and discuss the various meanings of a woman's no.
See Chica g o and discuss how Amos was reminiscent of the apostle Paul for first appearing as a saint to his wife, then having "bought the twine" to string her up, then being hit hard with the truth in the lawyer's office, and consequently becoming a means to her salvation, all the while not being well understood. On page Josh adds himself to a long list of people who have appropriated Peter Marshall's famous sermon on "The Keeper of the Spring. That corresponds to a specific ministry older women, mothers, have from the word of God.
All three show older relatives advising younger women, or the result of their advice. All three can be applied to dating which is the context in which today's young woman learns how to love men, one of them eventually becoming her husband. Material from these three books, I had to quote above to help straighten out Josh's material. Women today, unfortunately, are being trained to teach as men in a pulpit, to the neglect of their own specific ministry.
Finally on page , "We as singles face the important task of cultivating a balanced biblical understanding of God's purpose and plan for marriage. Here is a detailed analysis from Johannes Weiss, Earliest Christianity: A History of the Period A. Harper Brothers, pp. This translation of Das Urchristentum was originally published in under the title The History of Primitive Christianity. The letter of the Corinthians which presents to the apostle objections and scruples about marriage seems to have been the answer to these statements. From Paul's words that intercourse with a harlot cannot be reconciled with a Christian's communion with his Lord, it could be inferred that a Christian ought not to be married or, at least, ought not to live as husband or wife.
This application of the argument could be made all the more readily since Paul had made use of the ancient word at creation, "the twain shall become one flesh" 6: In any case, as we learn from ch. In other cases continence or the institution of spiritual betrothals or virgin marriages was recommended. These questions Paul answered in detail in an essay on marriage in which each problem was carefully discussed.
We will not here follow Paul in detail, but will only mention his two guiding principles in the discussion. In principle, he takes his stand on the side of the ascetic movement; in this matter he has not the slightest sympathy with the libertines: Paul however well knows that this cannot be demanded of all, since not everyone has like himself, vs. So from his practical knowledge of human nature, he recommends a normal married life even if he considers it here only as a protection against fornication 7: He quite decidedly prohibits divorce, which of course had been forbidden by a saying of the Lord 7: In a case of mixed marriage, a dissolution should under no circumstances originate with the Christian partner, but no compulsion should be used if the unbelieving partner chooses to go.
A new marriage should only be contracted 'in the Lord' 7: The discussion of spiritual betrothals or virgin marriages occupies a great deal of space 7: Here, too, he is sufficiently broadminded and practical to dissuade from anything unnatural and overstrained, and in a case where this difficult relationship for one reason or another cannot be carried out, to recommend marriage either with one another or with another, and this in spite of the high opinion which he elsewhere expresses in favor of self-chosen virginity. In other cases he adopts the point of view that Christians, generally speaking, should not change the condition in which they were at their call 7: Thus we see the Apostle striving to give practical, elastic and individual solutions for those difficult moral and religious problems which arose for the heathen who had entered the church, solutions that would be consistent with the main fundamental requirements of purity and sanctity.
In his wholly unsystematic way, he foreshadows a settled system of Christian ethics and of statutory canon law. Spiritual betrothals or v irgin marriages were arrangements where the two were given to each other as in marriage, but nothing physical was to occur. There are many comparisons I could make with Josh's treatment of preliminary courtship as platonic friendship, but I shall just point out for comparison Paul's thought of consummation being good but continence better. It seems to me that a similarly balanced treatment by Josh would not leave dating in the junk-food category but rather of a good restaurant where one could nevertheless choose unbalanced menu items.
Josh's alternative would then be a high cuisine restaurant that not everyone can afford. Why has Josh chosen this version for his main source when he wants a balanced and considered treatment of the subject? Really, it's a truism to say any modern version plainly states something. That's the whole point, isn't it, to make the Bible ultra-plain and easy to read and understand in our everyday speech?
Something sounds a little archaic in our regular Bibles, it comes out plain in the modern English ones. Some concepts are hard to understand, they come out plain too, whether the translator understands them well or not. It's all plain, so to quote from a modern English version and tell me it says something plain isn't telling me something I don't already know.
Animals yoked together are not being mated; that's the long and short of it. That verse is more likely talking about not laboring together with nonchristians in Christian ministry. I explore mi x ed marriage in detail elsewhere, but I'll touch on it briefly here. I've noticed Joshua's earlier reliance on "The Message" Bible, so we'll see what it has to say. It was translated by a long-time working pastor who says in the Preface it's meant to be a "reading" Bible, not a study Bible. That is, he wrote it for people who don't ordinarily read the Bible, who aren't yet familiar with it, but if they want to go on and study the Bible, they are advised to pick another version.
Hey, it was Joshua who was quoting from this, not I. I look at it like training wheels on a bicycle: The final chapter is a tribute to Josh's dad and mom, how they met. Josh uses photo albums to see what life was like there in Dayton, Ohio, in , with the "Jesus people," and the church and the coffeehouse where his dad met his mom.
Well, it so happens that I myself blew through that town and went to the same church and the same coffeehouse, in and , so I know firsthand what it was like there. Some of it I shall share. I was headed back to Oregon after having visited my folks in Pennsylvania for Thanksgiving, , when I was more or less waylaid by Christians in Dayton who wanted to help me with my Christian growth. Now, we Jesus people had quite a bit of exuberance sharing our faith, so it was nothing for us to go up to perfect strangers and strike up conversations about the Lord. So it was that my first evening in Dayton, Ohio, I went to a coffee shop and engaged a rather dignified elderly man in conversation about Christianity.
From time to time I would return to find him there where we would continue our conversation. Besides being a willing listener he was solicitous about my own welfare, and I came to look forward to our conversations. He called me a "magic Christian" as they seem to have popped up from time to time in his life to talk about the Lord. After much discussion I got him to agree to read C. Lewis's book Mere Christianity , a copy of which I intended to bring him. Then having moved into a Christian commune on the outskirts of town, I lacked opportunity to deliver the book.
Finally, I took counsel and decided to continue my journey to Oregon to serve the Lord there, so I asked the owner of the farm where we had the commune to deliver the book for me. I described what the man looked like and where he could be found, and said his name was Larkin. You've been witnessing to Larkin?
Why, he was the head of all organized crime in town. I am reminded here of a passage from Job: After my words they spake not again; and my speech dropped upon them. And they waited for me as for the rain; and they opened their mouth wide as for the latter rain. If I laughed on them, they believed it not; and the light of my countenance they cast not down.
I chose out their way, and sat chief, and dwelt as a king in the army, as one that comforteth the mourners. Lewis is so persuasive in his counsel that men just stop and listen. If he makes a joke at their expense, they don't mind for the wisdom of his words. He is like a "king in the army" for the respect given him, from all strata of society.
I felt like I was passing on that wisdom. Contrast that with what Job was now experiencing: Yea, whereto might the strength of their hands profit me, in whom old age was perished? For want and famine they were solitary; fleeing into the wilderness in former time desolate and waste. Who cut up mallows by the bushes, and juniper roots for their meat. They were driven forth from among men, they cried after them as after a thief; To dwell in the cliffs of the valleys, in caves of the earth, and in the rocks.
Among the bushes they brayed; under the nettles they were gathered together. They were children of fools, yea, children of base men: And now am I their song, yea, I am their byword. They abhor me, they flee far from me, and spare not to spit in my face. In some respects, I gather from the book, that Josh's future dad started out similarly in the doghouse with Josh's future mom.
I mean, it's not so much the faded jeans and T-shirt, the scraggly hair and guitar, the recent history of a "hitchhiking runaway" facing an "unknown and confusing world. And now this kid of the guy in the doghouse is snubbing his nose at the wisdom of C. And yet Joshua plainly disparages movies.
He abhors them, flees far from them, and spits in their face.
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If he had seen the biographical movie of Lewis in and read my review of the "Multiplicity" in a newspaper readily available in the state [Oregon] where he published his I Kissed Dating Goodbye , he might have had something more intelligent to say on the subject.
For that matter if his mother had insisted on a proper context—a date—for a marriage proposal, she would not have been stressed out by the overeager fellows, and his dad would not have been consigned to the doghouse. To be sure, Joshua evidently has dated more than one might suspect from reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye. In his interview with Dr. With the permission of his now wife Shannon, he shared that they had to "work through" the fact that she wasn't a virgin when they courted.
He shared the tearful revelation at a dinner when she confessed this to him. It just seems to me that they were on an actual date of sorts when she brought up an issue they needed to work through. I mean, she didn't make an announcement at fellowship one evening that she was not a virgin and let the whole group—along with Josh —"work through" it, but took some one-on-one time they had arranged to bring it up.
Of course, Joshua is all in favor of dating after they marry. I am not here faulting Joshua for not being consistent—because who is entirely consistent all the time in affairs of the heart? And if dating is legal, by married couples and by singles sometimes, then why inhibit someone who likes to date from going out on dates? Maybe such a one wants to "work through" all the issues, small and large, on dates, including some comparative shopping. At any rate if we force someone who likes dating to wait until marriage to go out on dates, then we've given him less incentive to stay single longer, and thus less opportunity to serve God with the freedom singleness permits.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but this writer considers a comparison with Islam apropos to Josh's doctrine on courtship. Delacorte Press, p. Joshua is similarly extending his Christianity beyond a mere set of beliefs, or a way to govern his conduct, into his whole way of life, here specifically to the realm of family, or the courtship leading to having one. Just as "Islam was not an indigenous faith growing out of the paganism of Arabia, Mesopotamia and Egypt," so was I kissed Dating Goodbye not a development from Western courtship per se which relies heavily on dating.
I mean, other Christian authors will advise single Christians how to behave on dates, what one can expect from them, their rules and prohibitions. Not Joshua; he chucks out the whole concept as "heathen. Instead, the Prophet blended elements of Christianity and Judaism and Arab practice and thought into a syncretistic new religion: So has Joshua blended elements of Christianity, Judaism, and Western custom into his I Kissed Dating Goodbye scheme, taking what he liked and discarding the rest. What Joshua has ended up with, in my opinion, is a syncretistic formula combining elements of Christianity, Jewish thought, and Western custom while discarding what he doesn't like in each.
I am not so sure one can improve on Christianity. I mean, isn't Christ supposed to be the end-all to the needs of mankind? And sure, I'd allow one a little experimentation. Who knows, he may have ended up with as happy a marriage as anyone. But to write such a book about it? When more than half the time he doesn't know what he is talking about. What really troubles me, though, is not so much the book's popularity over a million copies sold —because, after all, Islam is popular too—but its ready acceptance by some of the clergy.
Not to single out any particular one, but to use an illustration, let's take Dr. James Dobson of Foc u s on the Family. He has had Joshua Harris on his show from time to time to discuss his book s and concepts; in fact, that's how I heard about him. After one show Dr. Dobson did some soul searching saying that he and his wife Shirley had a good courtship time with dating an integral part of it, but perhaps he should reconsider it in light of what Josh had said.
I've never heard his conclusions, and I don't wish to presume on what I don't know, but for sake of illustration, which may apply to other servants of God as well, let's use the above comparison to Islam as a tool to develop our own conclusions. The number one Muslim intellectual was Sayyid Qutb, an Egyptian activist until his execution by Nasser's regime. This was from James Dobson was born in Sayyid Qutb made his observations while living in Greeley, Colorado. James Dobson has moved his ministry to Colorado Springs.
Joshua Harris Quotes
Although it's not an exact correspondence, it will do for cultural perspective. I should note in passing that Sayyid's younger brother Mohammed was the tutor for the now infamous Osama Bin Laden, naturally passing on his older brother's ideas, but this is not an analysis of "I crashed the trade towers goodbye," only of "I kicked football goodbye," and "I kissed dating goodbye.
Martin's Press, pp. The dance floor was lit with red and yellow and blue lights, and with a few white lamps. And they danced to the tunes of the gramophone, and the dance floor was replete with tapping feet, enticing legs, arms wrapped around waists, lips pressed to lips, and chests pressed to chests. The atmosphere was full of desire. When the minister descended from his office, he looked intently around the place and at the people, and encouraged those men and women still sitting who had not yet participated And as he noticed that the white lamps spoiled the romantic, dreamy atmosphere, he set about And the place really did appear to become more romantic and passionate.
Then he advanced to the gramophone to choose a song that would benefit this atmosphere and encourage the males and the females who were still seated to participate. And the Father chose. He chose a famous American song called "But Baby, It's Cold Outside," which is composed of a dialogue between a boy and a girl returning from their evening date. The boy took the girl to his home and kept her from leaving. She entreated him to let her return home, for it was getting late, and her mother was waiting but every time she would make an excuse, he would reply to her with this line: And the minister waited until he saw people stepping to the rhythm of this moving song, and he seemed satisfied and contented.
He left the dance floor for his home, leaving the men and the women to enjoy this night in all its pleasure and innocence! In case you haven't read any of Joshua's material yet, that piece about dating American style seems almost to have been lifted from his book. The bloodlust of American football is comparable to the heathen lust Joshua sees in American dating. Let's consider this awful game for a moment. The Lyons Press, , pp. Get to keep your size twelves on Mother Earth's booty. Following his son, they made their way to the coaching offices and there he saw the man who had been the reason for his decision to not pursue professional hockey.
Toby Blanck was older, but looked fit. The last time he had seen Blanck he was being carried off the ice bleeding profusely, his skull fractured. Blanck had been critical for a week before pulling through. When Blanck looked up, a huge smile spread across his face as he stood up and extended his hand. Blanck's voice was warm and inviting. No hard feelings, Grady. It was just hockey, eh? That's about how it is with the dating scene, at least with Christians. People get hurt sometimes; it's unavoidable, we don't mean to do it.
But we are truly remorseful when we have to hurt someone, breaking up with one, say, whose hopes were high. But the other party forgives and forgets. My feeling is that Joshua just didn't have a thick enough skin to continue with that scene so he moved into a milder arena where he took his time and sought counsel at each move, like going from hockey to basketball.
The clergy like his sensitivity so recommend his book and invite him to speak. Someone like James Dobson whose experience of dating before he married his wife was more like football—not as dangerous as hockey on ice, yet not as mild as basketball—never had to sort out the game but enjoy it. My big gripe is that someone who doesn't know that the foot is involved in football has no business writing about the game. Same as saying dating isn't in the Bible.
You either have to not have read the whole Bible—not watch a full game of football—or not pay attention to it to draw that conclusion. The kickoff begins the game. Well, in Genesis, the very beginning of the book, marriage is entered into by a man going out with someone special, leaving father and mother who are worried when their child gets home late to cleave to his intended arm around waist, lips to lips, chest to chest , until they eventually tie the knot become one flesh. The sorting out can be a bit rough, but we get over it. Then there are the field goals which help win the game.
Well, it was Queen E sther who made a lunch date with the king in order to deliver her people. And there are various other times a player will kick the ball, as there are dates recalled in the Song of Solomon. It was telling to hear James Dobson with another guest on the radio [March 1, ] promoting family-friendly movies including "A Night With the King" which is a takeoff on the story of Esther.
James Dobson seemed to approve of that movie as it had no profanity, no sex scene despite the title , and minimal violence even though the plot dealt with war. It illustrated a biblical story. Yes, there is some merit for viewing it by a mixed age family. But it made mincemeat of the dating in Esther. As the title says, the king got only one night with each maiden in order to make a decision for marriage to one of them. He decided on Esther and then had to wait in frustration until the wedding day when next he saw her.
That was according to the movie. It strains credulity that he was so taken by Esther and then never called on her again before the wedding. The dinner date that Queen Esther eventually made with the King in order to prevail upon him to rescue her people was also rewritten in the movie.
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Instead of the prearranged dinner—a date—which gave God a chance to influence the course of the king's action through a dream the night before, the dinner in the movie was a spur-of-the-moment occasion before the king departed for war, and it was Queen Esther's own scholarship that enlightened the king. The attempt by Haman at some physical bonding with the Queen on a date was changed into dark intimidation the only pseudo-violence in the film. Rather than watch a mild content movie that gets the doctrine all wrong, I personally prefer a movie harsher on the senses but that presents a correct doctrinal statement, like, say, "Chica g o.
I think it's possible to see the mechanism for the creation Josh's book by looking at beginnings of the Islamic doctrine. For the purpose of illustration I am going to use a mostly fictional story from: CricketSong Books, pp. The fiction, I believe, goes one step too far in critiquing Islam, partly due to their liberty in paraphrasing the Koran, so I shall also have to do some critical analysis. The fiction has a character named Joshua—not to be confused with the author of the book I'm reviewing.
Thor had more questions than answers. Sarah said that Ibn Ishaq was Muhammad's first biographer. But he didn't compile his bio until a hundred and twenty years after the Prophet's death. I'm told there are no surviving copies; all we have is Ibn Hisham's edits, done eighty or more years later. By that time, four or five generations had come and gone. He could have made everything up. And even then, there's only one Hadith that all Muslims seem to trust, the one by al-Bukhari.
It's called the True Traditions. If they're not accurate, everyone's clueless. And when you read this stuff the message is crystal clear. Muhammad and Allah speak the same language: They know we're too lazy to read and think for ourselves.
A Review Of Joshua Harris’s “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”. | Kimberly Erskine
It's a recipe for disaster. What you're going to learn, my friend, is that Islam will never be popular among rational men. The rest of the world had long since gone monotheistic, thanks to the Jews and Christians. They said that the Allah stone 'was of no account. Their mo on rock is no better than moonshine. A source of money and false hope—nothing more. With a flourish for revisionist history, Mo claimed that Abe was 'neither a Jew, nor yet a Christian,' and that he offered to sacrifice Ishmael , not Isaac. He even told his followers that the almost-offering took place at the Ka'aba in Mecca, instead of on Mount Moriah in Israel.
Muhammad didn't bastardize our history by accident. He didn't do it because he was illiterate and didn't know any better. He was purposely trying to cover something up. There were no takers. Abdul Muttalib, a wealthy pagan worshipper born two generations before Muhammad, was the custodian of the Ka'aba. One day he vowed to the rock gods that if given ten sons, he would sacrifice one to the stones. Bad move, 'cause eventually he had ten.
Foolishly faithful to the rocks, he rolled the dice to determine which son would die. His youngest, Abd-Allah, lost. By the way, who remembers what the name Abd-Allah means? But now, ask yourself why would someone name a kid 'slave to Allah' a generation before Muhammad claimed Allah was the supreme creator-god of the universe?
Allah had been the top pagan deity for centuries. He not only lived in the biggest rock, but as top dude, he was said to have been the father of the rock goddesses at al-Uzza, that's why. But all of that is embarrassing to Muslims because it means their religion is regurgitated paganism. So he goes off and consults with a sorceress, hoping to get the 'right' advice. She tells the proud papa to offer the pagan gods camels instead of his son, Abd-Allah.
She says that he should keep increasing the number until the gods say enough already. Abdul Muttalib followed the sorcerer's advice and started offering camels in groups of ten. But by the time he'd sacrificed several sets, not a single rock had so much as stirred. Not even a wiggle. Then a diviner, another occult fellow, says, 'The gods want a hundred camels to release you from your vow. Abd-Allah's life is spared. Still with me, Admiral?
So he decides to convolute the story in the Hebrew Bible instead, to vindicate the Ka'aba. You see, Abd-Allah, the boy who was nearly sacrificed— he was Muhammad's father. Muhammad knew the truth. He knew exactly what happened at the Ka'aba—pagan sacrifices, rock worship, sorcery—yet he chose to continue worshipping there, bastardizing Jewish history to justify the practice.
There was no misunderstanding. The deception was purposeful—and that's really bad when you're trying to start a religion. His own father was named 'slave-to-the-rock. I can't tell this story to the American people. They'll think I'm looney. There has to be another explanation. Actually, it gets uglier. You don't know the half of it yet. He opened it to surah He smashed them to pieces, with the exception of the biggest one, so they might turn to it.
First, in the context of history, Abe could never have done such a thing, and Muhammad did this very thing. When Mo stormed Mecca at sword point at the end of his life, he tossed every rock except Allah's from the Ka'aba. That one he kissed. Then to make his silliness look Prophet-like, and to make the Allah-rock look god-like, he invents a similar story for Abraham.
No one could speak for the longest time. They all wanted answers, but not these answers. The words of Muhammad's biographers—his own words—even Allah's words in the Qur'an, had condemned him. They revealed that from the very outset, Islam had been a hoax. Muhammad had just cut and pasted his religion together, combining his own pagan past with a purposely altered version of Jewish traditions. Bring me back to reality, God. Give me an undivided heart.
I won't stick around to see how much temptation I can take. God is not impressed with my ability to stand up to sin. He is more impressed by the obedience I show when I run from it. When we define our happiness by some point in the future, it will never arrive. We'll keep waiting until tomorrow. If we allow impatience to govern us, we will miss the gift of the moment. We'll arrive at that point in time we expected to provide fulfillment and find it lacking.
Purity doesn't happen by accident; it requires obedience to God. Living to glorify God means doing everything If you ant to feel deeply, you have to think deeply. Too often we separate the two. We assume that if we want to feel deeply, then we need to sit around and, well, feel. But emotion built on emotion is empty. True emotion- emotion that is reliable and does not lead us astray- is always a response to reality, to truth.
If you're not ready to consider marriage or you're not truly interested in marrying a specific person, it's selfish and potentially harmful to encourage that person to need you or ask him or her to gratify you emotionally or physically. Dating now is a lot like going shopping when you don't have any money. Even if you find the right thing, you can't do anything about it. The doctrine of Scripture teaches us about the authority of God's Word. Scripture must be the final rule of faith and practice for our lives. Not our feelings or emotions. Not signs or prophetic words or hunches. Every day we present the best quotes!
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